real - unreal

I still try to find out why my life here in Zambia seems unreal to me. Specially last week when I was sitting in the bus from Kawambwa to Lusaka, I had this feeling of something is wrong here. I was sitting in this nice comfortable modern bus, where seats and curtains were blue. Outside a beautiful green landscape and I was the only Musungu in the bus. When ever we stopped, people came running with all kind of things on their head and started negotiating with the other passengers. Bananas, dry fish and a lot of unknown (to me) stuff came through the windows and money went down to the sellers. A few times we stopped in small towns, some looking better than others. There was no doubt, not a single second, I definitely was somewhere on the African continent. As soon as I looked outside the windows, as soon as I looked at people next too me, there was no doubt were I was (where I am). And still. The way I feel, that just not how I imagined that I would feel once I am in Africa. I feel safe, welcomed and I have a nearly normal live. A life, I would have in any other place where I just arrived. Finding out how things work, meeting lots of new people, finding out about the new jobs and people there,... I think, I did not expect a "normal" live. it somehow just does not match with my expectations and pictures about Africa. Actually, never before in my life I had a house for myself! With garden. If I would know that I stay here longer than just a year, I would get a cat tomorrow.

Today, on the way back from the workshop in Kamanga, I enjoyed to drive through Lusaka. Evening hours are busy, people are in the streets. Lots of things are going on. And yes, you can see poor people. yes, many people are walking. yes, houses in compounds do look the way you imagine houses look in "slums". However, the real poverty and what it means that 25% of the population live with HIV and that 80% has a dollar a day or less, that you can't see. At least I do not see it in my daily live. People don't talk about it and it is only visible between the lines. Only when I start asking people about their live, their past,... I start to see a different pictures than the one I get from driving through Lusaka.

Most of what I know about Africa and more specifically about Zambia, I have read in some books. I realise that the picture I got from books is true (unfortunately), but that you can avoid seeing it easily if you want. For example, there are two big shopping centers in Lusaka (called Manda Hill and Arcaces), where you can buy everything you want or need. You can go to nice looking bars and restaurants. You can go and watch a movie,... and consume like anywhere else in the world. With your nice car than you go back to Kabalonga or Chelston (upper and middle class lives there) and you avoid compounds. If you remember my post in the first week here, on my first day in Zambia, I fall in love with the trees here. Nature is just amazing here. There are always some flowers and you have all kind of beautiful (and for me exotic) plants. Live can be beautiful, easy and safe in Zambia, if you have money.

However, reality of most of the population is a different one. Justina, Tinta's maid, is happy to work for Doreen. She gets 200'000 Kwacha a month (50$) and food. She spends 24 of 24h with Tinta and even sleeps here. She cooks, cleans the house, plays with Tinta,... and is always friendly, smiling,... Amazing. I tried to find out a little bit more. She has a daughter herself, which stays with her niece. Her daughter is 13 now, Justina is 27 years old. With other words she stopped school when she was 14. Before she was working at some supermarket, selling ice cream and popcorn. Her salary was 180'000 kwacha (45$) a month. I don't know how you can survive with that little money in Lusaka. Now she does not get a lot more, but what makes maybe a important difference, she does not have to worry about food. She is just amazing and I feel not comfortable at all, when I think about the fact, that I just got 200'000 Kwacha to buy talk time (mobile phone) and that I have 500$ a month (and I have no daughter and I have more free time). I am sorry for my last post on this blog, complaining stupidly about my private live and sofas I don't like.

The other reality about Zambia is HIV/Aids. While sitting in the workshop to day, with approximate 20 other persons, I was thinking about the fact that in Lusaka 25% are HIV positive. Meaning that at the workshop there were at least 4-5 persons living with the virus, and everybody for sure is affected by the disease in one or the other way. One of the group tasks was to write a poem. From 5 groups 3 wrote poems linked to HIV/Aids. All of them wanted to have pictures in the end of the workshop today, and to my surprise they put on the beeps we have, where its written: A friend with HIV is still a friend...

Have I told you about the two persons I met the last evening in Kawambwa? The little girl that moved from Lusaka to Kawambwa because her mother died. now the girl stays with her aunt. And the bank manager who is taking care as well of his niece as both of her parents died? By the way, Jeff's uncle died a little bit more than a week ago. I did not dare to ask "why". Just asked whether it came surprisingly or not. Jeff (project coordinator) told me that they were expecting it... Kelvin (coach trainer from Chikumbi) had an operation last week. Tumor somewhere at the neck. He came today to the workshop. He was smiling as usual.

Its Friday evening and I am too exhausted to go out. I am just happy to be at "home". While writing I watch two bugs walking around me. The bigger one looks strange, the other one is just a cockroach.

I think ,I will go now to my room. Try to put up the mosquito net again and maybe watch another Chinese movie. Or maybe, I am just going to sleep, hoping that nobody wakes me up tomorrow... oh, Mara's kitchen party is tomorrow. I do not have a traditional dress (did not have time today). Well, we will see tomorrow...

Good night! lol
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